Office Resolutions We All Wish Our Co-workers Would Keep in 2015

Lose weight. Stop swearing (or cut back). Spend more time with family. Take up a new hobby…


We’ve all been there. When midnight strikes on December 31st, people all over the world see the welcoming of a new year as a time to make (and hopefully keep) a resolution for the forthcoming year. Many resolve to make a change with good intentions, but keeping that resolution isn’t always as easy as it seems. Time restrictions, lack of dedication, frustration, and more can take over, and what started with a renewed vigor and commitment, quickly turns into a subject would rather be forgotten about. (Thousands of gym memberships that go unused is evidence enough of this.)

Although many resolutions have clear benefits attached with them, none could be more important than the resolutions that we really hope some of our colleagues will keep for 2015. We at Neteffects understand the strain that certain bad habits can have in the workplace, that’s because NO office is immune from the people who commit the following offenses. If you happen to identify yourself in one of the following “wishful resolutions,” why not take a moment and make a promise on behalf of your co-workers to change your ways for good? If you happen to have a colleague who could benefit from our resolutions, feel free to share it with them.

Resolve not to conduct full-fledged conversations in the workplace restroom while on the cellphone.

We get it. The awkward silence. The precious time being “wasted” while you carry on with your task-at-hand when visiting the lavatory. Consider this: workplace bathrooms are a place of efficiency and respite for visitors who need a private place to cry, curse the boss to affinity and cool off, adjust their appearance, or conduct any number of tasks that require use of the actual toilet. When you talk on your phone, you’ve broken the sanctuary of this space and disrupted fellow patrons to privy.

They don’t care to hear your detailed conversation or experience that awkward moment when you tell whomever is on the phone with you to “hold on.” What’s worse yet, is the fact YOU ARE ACTUALLY BRINGING YOUR PHONE INTO THE BATHROOM AND ARE USING IT. Germs, anyone? Whomever is on the other line doesn’t need to hear the sound of flushes, or whatever sounds are coming from you as you conduct your business. You’re not so busy that you can’t leave the phone stowed away, or at your workspace until you return. And no, placing the call on mute doesn’t count.

Resolve to refrain from devouring the lunch of a fellow co-worker, or co-workers.

Karma will always catch up with you. And for your act of thievery and gluttony, we hope you experience a unfortunate, violent, stomach virus in grid-lock rush hour traffic, and lack so much as a wet-wipe for your instant malady.

Resolve to not dump your workload off on unsuspecting colleagues just because ‘you’re the boss.’

It’s 5 o’clock somewhere and you’ve a million things to do  after work, but there are reports to be done and a project that you’ve let linger until the 11th hour. No worries! You’ll just shoot an email to what’s her | his face, and tell them that they need to handle it, because well – you’ve got a lot on your plate and need for them to step up a notch as a team-player and help out. It’s only 4 and you’re certain they are still here. After all if they don’t handle it, it’s on them. Time for you to leave and get to that thing you have…

We know your game. And chances are, your underlings do as well. And although they may be used to your shenanigans, it doesn’t mean that they don’t loathe you for it. Remember the people you step on during your trip up the corporate ladder, because chances are, you will meet them again on your way back down, if they don’t climb to reach your rung in the meantime at your office or elsewhere.  This also plays nicely to the saying that the toes you continually step on today, may be attached to them bum you kiss tomorrow.

Resolve to send less email and take more vacation time.

In a society where we are all plugged in constantly, email has become the bane of nearly everyone. Work email. Personal email. Spam. No matter what we do, we can’t escape the hold it has. Or can we? What if you sent less email and resolved to handle things via a phone call or face-to-face conversation and saved email only for circumstances where you MUST respond or need to CYA with documentation? Imagine the time you’d save! You’d be able to actually take those little breaks and visit the bathroom (without your cellphone of course)! You could go to lunch and get out of work at a reasonable hour! Heck, you might be able to sleep through the night without your phone within arm’s reach! And let’s not forget being able to go on vacation and not coming back to hundreds or thousands of emails to deal with.

Speaking of vacation – it’s almost 2015. Did you use your vacation? Did you roll some time over to the next year? Employers have vacation policies to provide their employers with time for rest and relaxation – not to let it go to waste or be rolled over. It’s YOUR time to take and unplug. Go on, get away. No really, get away. Being overworked takes its toll on your performance and not in a good way. It can lead to burn-out and a poor attitude. Show your company you care about you. Show your colleagues there is life on the other side, and it’s called time off. There are places to go, things to do. A good time to be had. Go forth and make 2015 the year you use that time to do something you’ve been putting off.